Weirdly after a few replays oswin s growing on me I found him a bit dry on the early chapters but he seems to have more a personality in chapters 4 too 5 Duri will always be best boy though for me will there ever be a poly route?
Thank you so much! Zahn gave me so many fits, so this really helps! (Spent 4 hours troubleshooting their whole scene today, lol). Glad you enjoyed my friend!
I'm finally finished, that was way too long to be called a 'Demo' are you adding content to it or was that actually an original Demo. Anyways, After I hit chapter 4, I restarted 8 times because, I usually flirt with every woman until I decide who I want to romance, then I restart. And this time I decided I wanted Duri, so I restarted several times because I got uselessly picky and I wanted to see what Duri would say if our hair was Grey like hers. I really can't resist picking Cooking as my skill, the description draws me in the most, and I like to cook IRL as well. Swordplay only interests me because I want to know if I can beat Oswin in that sparring match If I learn Swordplay. Great 'Demo' overall, Spectacular even, Phenomenal, Amazing, Sprezzaturian Level work right here.
The "demo" label just means it's not finished yet. There's not currently (nor I believe ever will be, though I can't verify that) a distinction between a demo and a complete version.
Hello there! Thanks for reading. I agree, this is HUGE, lol. I added the "demo" actually as part of a requirement for the Amare Games jam submission. I guess it technically still is one, but it is growing ferociously. Part of that growth actually is that I may add a few more comments on hair/eye variations as well. The cook is a good choice too, I have some fun writing their variations - Chapter 5 now has some really fun ones for them. I try to channel my mother when I think of cook MCs, she's the toughest and tiniest woman I know (she's almost 80 and I am still scared of her). I'm glad you enjoyed it, my friend! I hope there is more in the update that you will like as well. ^_^
okay I just spent two days reading this and I’m blown away. I love the concept so much??? The world you built feels incredibly alive, I really did feel like I was actually there while reading. I love the insane amount of variations you’re doing with the flirting choices 🫶🏽 OSWIN HAS MY HEARTTTT I love his whole character and the dynamic you can build with him is beautiful. To be honest, I love all the LIs you’ve introduced so far. Zahn and Duri are everything to me as well. The customisation + branching is SO good. I’m so excited to see where this goes and I can’t believe I only just got around to reading it (it’s been in my library for while!) I LOVE UR WORK‼️🫶🏽 thank u!!
I did have a question: I know u have a form to report bugs etc, does this include typos you’d want readers to point out? I hope that doesn’t come across nit-picky x
Thank you, my friend! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I'm cooking up more and will have an update soon as well. You are welcome to report typos too in the error form, but you may be there all day, lol. Once chapter 5 is out (*cough, later this weekend I hope, cough*), all the chapters are getting a good old scrub for typos and such. Not a full re-work, just a polish. I figured out a system to help me find those pesky errors (I am dyslexic & ADHD, which makes editing a super-challenge), and I think I can make some good improvements with what I've worked out. So, I still welcome any help you want to provide, but please don't put yourself out either, my dear. ^_^
I hope this system works out well for u!! Pls don’t stress ab it!’ Tbh, I thought the narration and grammar flowed so well, it was only minor typos here and there x I can’t wait for the next chapter 😭🙏🏽 I’m so hooked already
I just hit chapter 3 and I gotta say, the story is great. Very unique, the descriptions in just about everything is impeccable, I never thought words could make me flinch but when that Cow was dying giving birth I actually cried and that surprised the hell out of me. The customization is vast and important surprisingly and the Characters are okay too, I honestly only care for my Parents but hey. Only problem I have is. WHERE. ARE. THE. WOMEN. I saw the Gender-Selectable people before I started righting this but I don't think I've seen a woman our age besides Kanta who's a One Night Stand. I most definitely gotta restart though, reread and all that.
Thank you, my friend! I am glad you are enjoying it! I hope the death of the cow didn't hit too hard, and if it's any consolation - I cried while writing it. I love cows, all animals really, it was hard. And I'm not sure where all the women are, lol. MC just isn't around many other people their age, in general, at least in the glimpse you get into their early life (there will be more memories and new characters that pop up later though). Willow, who becomes Lakota's wife, doesn't get screen time for the sake of story-focus (yet, more on her in ch 6 in future), but she's probably the main woman around MC that is around their age. The twin sisters are a decent bit older and have this silent-watcher thing going and Betony is more of a mom role. It's not intentional, I can promise you that. I also don't care much for typical gender roles so I tend to write male characters that fill roles you typically see for women characters or with characteristics that tend to get stereotyped as feminine. And I like women-badies (that goes for villains big and small, and general badasses). The Twinflower women have some secrets, btw. I hope it isn't too much of a downer and dampens your enjoyment. ^_^
I'm very excited for the next chapter! Are we going to be able to meet Rune? So far, it's been at least one LI introduction per chapter. Keep up the great work. Take breaks when you need them and hope you enjoy your holidays. <3
I am also excited for the next chapter! It was delayed from my original goal of November, but it is getting so very close to being ready. I'm editing some final parts and might actually add a bit more to it too (just a tiny bit, another little kiss at the end). ^_^
I just finished the fourth chapter and woah… this is awesome?? It’s very well written and the level of choices and customization is so much more than I’ve seen in games in a similar format. You should be really proud of yourself, Lunan, and make sure to rest when you need it!! :)
Sorry, my dear, for this story it likely won't happen. But I am considering it for future ones! I just want to write that sort of love story with as much authenticity as I can. ^_^
I would say he loves you back, but Oswin would get all huffy and embarrassed and it would be a whole thing, lol. Just hang on a bit and he'll tell you himself. ;)
Thanks for your work and I enjoyed my time. Read through it in a couple of evenings as when I get into books/stories I tend to power through them.
*Warning* Very light spoilers ahead but I’ll try to keep it vague.
I was already quite interested in the setting and story from the start but I found I became more invested after chapter 3 when things open up more and it feels you have more choices to make and influence on how it all unfolds.
You really do a good job with making some of the even more mundane choices feel surprisingly meaningful among IFs that I’ve read. Even things like hair/eye colour had a couple interesting bits in the story attached to them beyond just being tags for your character’s appearance. I was also impressed with things like your choice of career pursuit and hobby having interactions.
For feedback, not too much to complain about. There were some spelling and grammar mistakes but it wasn’t too frequent and this is still a work in progress. Some more customization options would be nice I suppose? I think it is already quite good though, and I appreciate being able to customize the mc at all. I’m biased in this regard as I really enjoy character creation/customization.
I look forward to more and hope all goes well for you.
Thank you so much for the feedback, I'm glad that you found your read enjoyable. I have really loved doing this project and trying to fit in things that I would want to see while reading IFs. My goal is to make those facets of your character feel as real as possible while trying to avoid ham-fisting it. When I get a spot of time to sit down and clean up the first few chapters (definitely going to hit the grammar hard then too), I want to add a bit more customization and refine what is already there. If you have ideas for additions, I happily take suggestions. If you prefer, you can pop them into the error report form instead. It's linked in the game. ^_^
Can't wait for the next chapter bcoz this was so fun!! I was completely invested, the plot is great and the characters are well-written. Duri really swept me off my feet as soon as he appeared lol I folded so fast 🤭
I'm so glad you had fun, my dear! Trying to get the update out the first week of December (hit some delays in November, but it's getting there)! Duri has been a persistent heart-stealer, lol. Very appropriate. ^_^
im deep into chapter four and i dont wanna finish it yet 💔but holy moly... this game is so good what the flip, Oswin has to be my favorite so far :D i also love the map of the clearing in chp3, unexpected but it was super cool!!1 Definitely have gained a new devoted follower, cant wait for this to be updated C:
Thank you, my friend! I am very glad you connected with it, and I am happy you're here. ^_^
I'm currently working on an update too. I was really trying to get it out in November, but life kinda got in the way, so I'm thinking it's going to be the first week of December instead.
omg i love the plot and the characters- damn they're so fine. Also is there a chance that there's poly routes!! I would love to see one with Duri and Oz, literally one's a wolf and u have a guy trying to convince evryone that wolves will never hurt anyone unless necessary though not necessarily Duri in particular >:D seems like there could be more going on HAHA literally thinking abt how Oz may bicker with Duri when he's in human form but softens whenever he's in wolf form bcos he can't help his fondness for his wolf form! eager for the next chapter while i go back to studying for my finals hehe :3
Hello my friend! I am glad that you are enjoying it! Unfortunately for this story, there won't be poly routes, but I can def see where a Duri-Oswin match would be a lot of fun though (super flipping cute!). In future IFs, I may do some poly romances, but for these characters for one reason or another, I didn't feel that it fit them as well. It's something I've been mulling on though, so we'll see what happens! ^_^
peak fiction fr ToT I AM SOSOSO INVESTED TO SEE HOW THIS TURNS OUT!!!!
comments on our companions/ROs
(playing with a female character for now) oswin: he's got that dawg in him but i like his protective spirit zahn: such a goofy goober, love him duri: why does he remind me of gale and halsin from BG3 at the same time
i love the dads and lakota sm!!! they really make me feel like my character got the love she needs to keep going!
and i love my horsie Luchika ofc :3
keep it up!!! I really am invested to see how this goes! if there's one thing i can recommend
listen to some music when writing <3 really helps get you into the vibe of what you write... i personally listened to the MHRise soundtrack while reading because oml it fit well with my character (fiorayne)...
but enough yapping from a monster hunter nerd... ENJOY THIS PEAK! i'm rooting for you!! and in the words of palpatine... "We will watch your career with great interest."
-love, LightningMeliodas, just a random monster hunter nerd and avid gamer.
Thank you my dear! I am so glad you are enjoying the story and characters! There will be more to love soon. I also love some tunes while I write or read, I'll check out that soundtrack too! ^_^
I just finished through chapter 4 and I love this so muchhh. (btw maybe spoilers so CAUTION :> )
Anyways, I just want to say how much I love this story, the world building, even the characters!
I love the parents so muchhh, right when they were mentioned, I already loved them (I even maybe almost cried at a few scenes including the cow scene tbh )
I also really love all the little details and interactions with the characters and how they interacted w/ each other (platonic or not).
And I just wanted to say, the world building of this story is amazing, every little addition to the story always left me a little amazed. I really can't wait until chapter 5 comes out!
Though I do understand writing all that takes a lot time (and work!) So take your time ofc! Take breaks if you need them!
Anyways, for now, I'll probably re-play for each of the romances/companions (prob Duri first) >:D
Thank you so much for the kind words, my friend! I am so glad you are finding so much to enjoy. I can't wait to get chapter 5 out, my goal is to have it out this month (it's been a rough month though, but I am striving forward on it)! ^_^
To start it off: If you're hesitating on reading this. STOP. READ IT NOW!!! I PROMISE IT'S WORTH IT. VERY MUCH SO! PLS, READ IT AND SWOON WID ME!!!!!! QAQ
(long message ahead I apologize in advance so sorry ;_;)
The way my lips curled down in desperate sadness after seeing "Thank you for reading" 😭 I've never felt so so SO hollow before, it's just so GOOD. GREAT. AMAZING! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! So hey, dear author... what do you say about another faithful fan who pledges that this is one of her favorite IFs of all time now ;)
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my parents. Da 'n Papa! They're such lovable and caring fathers I couldn't have asked for better ones. I love them with all my heart, I can't wait to get better and to go home and hug them again!!! (that one scene with MC crying for their parents' company and wanting to go home while in pain broke me btw)
ANYWAY. I romanced Oswin the entirety of the game (tho I did stray away a couple times to check what would happen with the other ROs... cough) but I always went back to choose my beloved Oswin in the end! All the events with him, his moments, I treasure them all with my whole heart! I have so much more to say about him, but I'll bleed my heart out once the game iz finished. (pls expect like 100k words) (the key scene made me bawl btw)
Ok so to summarize how I feel about the others:
Lakota: BEST.FRIEND.EVER.
Mule (I named her... uh, better not say): I've only had her for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Zahn: The sweetest, they deserve more LOVE. So caring and kind, like cotton-candy. Adorable af. 2nd fav after Oswin<3
Duri: Fluffy. Sexy. Hot. Did I mention FLUFFY yet?
She-wolf: I've only had her for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Nathan: HOT. Love the pet-names btw. (WHY IS HE NOT AN RO????!!!!)
that's that, I can't wait to meet the others! so so so excited!!!
Everyone is EXTREMELY loveable. I can't find myself hating or disliking anyone!!! HOW, author?! You're amazing! Truly, thank you for this. Genuinely made my day. (The Election Ruined It But You Made Me Feel Better) Please always take breaks, stay hydrated! I love you so much (as a fan) Will be rooting for you and this masterpiece of a story<3333
Awe, my friend you are too kind! Your message made my day - big time.
I am so happy to add you to the coven of devoted fans, my dear. There is always room here. ^_^
I am thrilled that you have found so much to love about it, and I can't wait to share more with you (also, no shame in sampling the other ROs, we'll just keep that between us, lol).
I will strive to bring more memorable and lovable moments with these precious characters in the months to come. I also had a rough day and spent it in and out of despair. But GC will be a safe space for me, for you, and for everyone that comes here. Thank you for stopping by and for the sweet message, it was a truly bright light for me today. ^_^
I'm not too far in, but I've made decent progress, and I have a few complaints. Know that this is meant to be helpful, and that this is literally all the fault I can find in this game. It's a very fun game so far.
- Dear god, there are so many grammatical errors. This entire thing is gonna need to be proofread to clear them all out. Most of them are harmless, mostly only annoying to grammar nuts like me, but some do obfuscate you intentions a little.
- Menu navigation is a touch borked. Sometimes back to game doesn't work (though you do seem aware of it, thank you for offering solutions to that one) and if I ever save, the save menu WILL NOT reopen unless I open and close settings.
- I am very early on, so I may not have the best perspective of it, but I have to say that the game does seem a bit designed with female characters in mind. It's not too bad, but it is noticeable, particularly in the customization at the start of the game.
And that's it. Man, if that's all the flaw I can find (and I started looking), you're doing pretty good. Just some gentle editing and a bit of wrangling of the spaghetti code, and you've got a quality work right here. I'd pay around $15 for this with those changes. With these current issues, though, it ends up feeling a little unprofessional, which makes it a much harder sell. Seeming even a little unprofessional does pretty big harm to your salability. But again, this is far less work than many games need, and it's one fun game. I hope this little criticism helps, and I hope to see this baby on Steam one day.
I will say the last few parts of your criticisms seem highly unnecessary - because the IF is currently free (and free games or books etc. will be quite unprofessional) also most IF authors I've seen who charge anything have a patreon (that the author doesn't have) which you opt into for bonus content
The most I've seen an IF go for is 12$ (I think authors deserve more but that's besides the point) and that's on the high end
Which is all to say whatever prices the author 'would' charge you'd get about what you'd pay for but the author isn't charging anything so it's not worth speculating on
I think speculating on what it "would" go for IS important - this says demo, after all, which implies a full, paid version. And I was only attempting to state what I would pay with that comment, not what it would be worth. Also, does IF stand for interactive fiction? I've never seen that acronym before.
Yes! If you search IF games anything interactive fiction will show up
Also I would sorta be repeating myself but since Lunan said they've recently thought about selling the full game and writing with that goal in mind I'll leave that discussion and thought process for them (lord knows I'm never gonna make an IF myself lol)
I'm with you on that. I like to give my input about what's "wrong", because everything else is so right, but I'm just some guy. And who am I to proclaim something objectively anything? I just believe player feedback is important. But at the end of the day, everything is up to Lunan. As long as this story concludes satisfactorily, I won't complain.
Thank you, my dear, I do appreciate constructive notes, especially since I do this project alone! ^_^
I know there is going to be issues since I have no real editor or play-tester and am learning as I go. I had 2 people very briefly proof the beginning, but other than that, it's just been me. I have never coded anything in my life before this either. So, this spaghetti is going to be unhinged, my friend, lol.
Going to note too, that when I began this project - it was not for salability. It was just for the passion of it (the thought of putting it on Steam was like a far-off and untouchable dream). While I wanted it as professional as I could manage, that wasn't the end-goal, so those things were not a focus. It wasn't until sort of recently, with readers encouraging me, that I began really thinking about polishing and selling it one day. It would be a dream come true, to be sure.
Since I am now looking at possibly selling it one day, it will get extensive copyediting and refining. I just want the full story out for right now.
The menu navigation will get an overhaul when I can focus on it. I have a lot of things I want to implement on the stats along with a journal page to track the story. What's there now just won't suffice for all I have planned. I think some of the issues rest in template I've used, but with some research I can fix them.
I've had the "female-leaning" reference made once before, and I'll say what I said then - I truly believe that depends on your perception of what is inherently male, female or anything in-between. I do realize most of my audience is female-leaning, but I have more often received comments that my writing wasn't as gendered as most out there. I do not believe in gender roles or that things should be gendered - period. The lens I see through is a-gendered as it is, so I just don't see it, personally.
Hey, don't worry too much. I also said all this as something of a utilitarian - most people looking at indie stuff don't care too much about professionalism, and I'm a grammar nut, so most people playing won't notice most of those little errors. As for the female-leaning thing, it's only really even noticeable in character creation, and even then, not all that visible unless you're looking. And the menu navigation was already something you were clearly aware of, so I'm not fussed about it.
Hmm...that was quite unexpected. You really should mention either in the description or in the trigger warning section that we have two gay fathers....I think that's...a bit important no? Sorry but I can't read your story because of that. But I wish you good luck with your work.
Two gay dads do not require a trigger warning, but your comment sure does for homophobia. Don't be sorry, if that is where your line is, I'd rather you not read my work anyway, and I certainly do not need your well-wishes either.
That's fine, but you still need to give some warning about it because your work could be seen by other people who aren't looking for that kind of content. They're not gender-selectable like everyone else, you feel me?
Well, you don't have to put it in the trigger warning specifically. What I'm saying is that you need to make it more obvious in the description who finds and adopts the main character. Because I read it and didn't catch that. Maybe adding Gay tag will also help.
You are not understanding, and I fully realize that you will likely not in a conversation with me. Should readers be "notified" about heterosexual parents too? I suspect your answer is 'no.' That is my issue with what you are suggesting. I will not treat parents with non-hetero orientations any differently in fiction or in real life. End of story.
You need a trigger warning... for what now? I'm pretty sure this game is literally in the LGBT category in the tags. I don't think I've ever read a book that had a big red sign that said "gays portrayed!! read with caution" goodluck in your pursuit of divine heterosexual literature.
The LGBT category doesn't say much. I've played a huge number of games from this category and I'm quite happy with everything. Because either I choose the gender of the characters or I can ignore romantic interests that don't suit my tastes. Here it's absolutely inevitable, so it's worth putting some kind of warning about it. Maybe adding a Gay tag would be nice.
We've established that isn't going to happen because it's ridiculous and the author doesn't want to and it's their work so this is a redundant argument. You made your suggestion and We've established this game is not for you. Good luck in your pursuit once again. I love the gay dad's. I hope they stay forever and always Amen.
Why do you feel so attacked that they put two homosexual parents when it really doesn't effect anyone nor anything. It's painful to see you whine over a game that you don't have to play or even think about. It just really aggrivates me, that small-minded people exist and are more prominent on the internet as ever, as someone who has been discriminated for the person who I am sexually I am intrested in. LGBTQ tags were put in for people who don't like those kinds of things; LGBTQ tags shouldn't be used for what you are describing.
What i legit fail to understand myself is what exactly is the trigger warning here supposed to be for? Because they are gay? Andddd??? It's not like they are out here having sex in every scene or walking around with their asses out. And even if they were this is an 18+ rated game 🙄 but they aren't they are raising an orphan wtf is so triggering about that?
Stupid shit like this makes my brain hurt. Christ alive. Oh no look it's two people who love each other. The horror...
I've never made reviews or rated stories but this was amazing! it took my attention and the characters are to die for! I'm totally obsessed wit oswin. i love how brutal it is but also charming, and i cant get over papa and da :0. i cant wait to see wat happens next :)
I am thankful that you have stopped by, my dear, and that you are enjoying my story and characters. Brutal and charming is the best compliment to me, lol. I am really shooting for this very month for the next chapter as well, so I hope it won't too long for you to wait! ^_^
This IF is everything I've ever wanted and more I'm so in love with it! You are incredible author and idk I just don't have enough words to say how much I like this story
A friend introduced me to your lovely IF a few days ago and I have already played through the available chapters several times, playing with different options and such. I absolutely love it and am excited to see where the story goes from here! All the characters are so much fun to get to know and I absolutely love the world you have created. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!
Thank you so much for the very kind words. It brings me much joy that you are enjoying reading and rereading. I can't wait to bring you more to love. ^_^
Okay, I've only just found this and am more hooked than any other IF i've come across and I have to pause to comment this. (potential spoilers if you haven't played)
I named my character Ravi on name day for the sentiment from parents AND Oswin. And there's a CALL out TO THAT? I absolutely lost my mind. I already knew this was easily already in my top 3, and it just became my top for that absolutely insanely intricate detail. Thank you so much for this insane work of art.
Oh, my friend I am so glad you found that and appreciated it! I love little things like that in IFs, so I'm trying to remember to add them. I have a few things that I plan to go back and code more callbacks to as well. Sometimes when I get into the writing, those details slip from my mind. Thank you so much for your kind words, I hope GC continues to bring you joy as the journey pushes on. ^_^
I'm so glad you like that, my dear. I want to keep options like that where I can since there's a lot of other things that the MC isn't given much of a choice in. Thank you for the kind words! I am happy to be in your bookmarks (very cozy, 5 stars, highly recommend). ^_^
It's well under way, my dear! I can't say for sure, but I anticipate updating before the end of the year. I'll have a better idea of when after next week. My hope is for November at the latest. (There's going to be some very choice Oswin moments too.) ^_^
LOL, I can totally tell. I am hot on the heels of chapter 5 already (26k words). If you have Tumblr, I've posted a couple ask responses with little mini-drabbles or POVs if that will help scratch the itch a little! ^_^
Not yet, but I'm making plans currently! Probably going to start out with just a couple tiers to keep it simple - early releases, side stories, POVS, and of course some spicy things. ^_^
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Yayyy chapter five so happy right now
You and me both! ^_^
Weirdly after a few replays oswin s growing on me I found him a bit dry on the early chapters but he seems to have more a personality in chapters 4 too 5 Duri will always be best boy though for me will there ever be a poly route?
Love it . can't wait for the update.
Glad you enjoyed my dear! I anticipate chapter 6 sometime between this coming March and May. ^_^
awesome. Have a great christmas and a happy new year.
I think I found a Error in the spicy part with Zahn. Also I played till the end and this story is sooo good. I cant wait for more❤
Thank you so much! Zahn gave me so many fits, so this really helps! (Spent 4 hours troubleshooting their whole scene today, lol). Glad you enjoyed my friend!
Thank you for blessing me with this update tonight!!! I love your work so much!! Can't wait to read more <333
You are very welcome dear, I hope you enjoy it! ^_^
I'm finally finished, that was way too long to be called a 'Demo' are you adding content to it or was that actually an original Demo. Anyways, After I hit chapter 4, I restarted 8 times because, I usually flirt with every woman until I decide who I want to romance, then I restart. And this time I decided I wanted Duri, so I restarted several times because I got uselessly picky and I wanted to see what Duri would say if our hair was Grey like hers. I really can't resist picking Cooking as my skill, the description draws me in the most, and I like to cook IRL as well. Swordplay only interests me because I want to know if I can beat Oswin in that sparring match If I learn Swordplay. Great 'Demo' overall, Spectacular even, Phenomenal, Amazing, Sprezzaturian Level work right here.
The "demo" label just means it's not finished yet. There's not currently (nor I believe ever will be, though I can't verify that) a distinction between a demo and a complete version.
Appreciate the verification
Hello there! Thanks for reading. I agree, this is HUGE, lol. I added the "demo" actually as part of a requirement for the Amare Games jam submission. I guess it technically still is one, but it is growing ferociously. Part of that growth actually is that I may add a few more comments on hair/eye variations as well. The cook is a good choice too, I have some fun writing their variations - Chapter 5 now has some really fun ones for them. I try to channel my mother when I think of cook MCs, she's the toughest and tiniest woman I know (she's almost 80 and I am still scared of her). I'm glad you enjoyed it, my friend! I hope there is more in the update that you will like as well. ^_^
okay I just spent two days reading this and I’m blown away. I love the concept so much??? The world you built feels incredibly alive, I really did feel like I was actually there while reading. I love the insane amount of variations you’re doing with the flirting choices 🫶🏽 OSWIN HAS MY HEARTTTT I love his whole character and the dynamic you can build with him is beautiful. To be honest, I love all the LIs you’ve introduced so far. Zahn and Duri are everything to me as well. The customisation + branching is SO good. I’m so excited to see where this goes and I can’t believe I only just got around to reading it (it’s been in my library for while!) I LOVE UR WORK‼️🫶🏽 thank u!!
I did have a question: I know u have a form to report bugs etc, does this include typos you’d want readers to point out? I hope that doesn’t come across nit-picky x
Thank you, my friend! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I'm cooking up more and will have an update soon as well. You are welcome to report typos too in the error form, but you may be there all day, lol. Once chapter 5 is out (*cough, later this weekend I hope, cough*), all the chapters are getting a good old scrub for typos and such. Not a full re-work, just a polish. I figured out a system to help me find those pesky errors (I am dyslexic & ADHD, which makes editing a super-challenge), and I think I can make some good improvements with what I've worked out. So, I still welcome any help you want to provide, but please don't put yourself out either, my dear. ^_^
I hope this system works out well for u!! Pls don’t stress ab it!’ Tbh, I thought the narration and grammar flowed so well, it was only minor typos here and there x I can’t wait for the next chapter 😭🙏🏽 I’m so hooked already
loved reading these 4 chapters and was able to relate heavily as I have chronic issues :)
Oswwiiiinnnn......T_T <3 ugh
Glad you enjoyed it! I hope the illness didn't hit you in the feels too hard. ^_^
I just hit chapter 3 and I gotta say, the story is great. Very unique, the descriptions in just about everything is impeccable, I never thought words could make me flinch but when that Cow was dying giving birth I actually cried and that surprised the hell out of me. The customization is vast and important surprisingly and the Characters are okay too, I honestly only care for my Parents but hey. Only problem I have is. WHERE. ARE. THE. WOMEN. I saw the Gender-Selectable people before I started righting this but I don't think I've seen a woman our age besides Kanta who's a One Night Stand. I most definitely gotta restart though, reread and all that.
Thank you, my friend! I am glad you are enjoying it! I hope the death of the cow didn't hit too hard, and if it's any consolation - I cried while writing it. I love cows, all animals really, it was hard. And I'm not sure where all the women are, lol. MC just isn't around many other people their age, in general, at least in the glimpse you get into their early life (there will be more memories and new characters that pop up later though). Willow, who becomes Lakota's wife, doesn't get screen time for the sake of story-focus (yet, more on her in ch 6 in future), but she's probably the main woman around MC that is around their age. The twin sisters are a decent bit older and have this silent-watcher thing going and Betony is more of a mom role. It's not intentional, I can promise you that. I also don't care much for typical gender roles so I tend to write male characters that fill roles you typically see for women characters or with characteristics that tend to get stereotyped as feminine. And I like women-badies (that goes for villains big and small, and general badasses).
The Twinflower women have some secrets, btw. I hope it isn't too much of a downer and dampens your enjoyment. ^_^Oswin, my love.
finished the demo and Y'ALL I CAN'T SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE OSWIN ENOUGHHH
Just wait, teehee! ^_^
I'm soooo exciteddd please i need more oswinnnn
I know I already commented but this is so good afdlkhdsajkfhasfdhgadjkfhgsljfkdghl;dkjdskjfajhjsdghbfsjldgd
LOL Well, it's still nice to see you again, dear. ^_^
I'm very excited for the next chapter! Are we going to be able to meet Rune? So far, it's been at least one LI introduction per chapter. Keep up the great work. Take breaks when you need them and hope you enjoy your holidays. <3
I am also excited for the next chapter! It was delayed from my original goal of November, but it is getting so very close to being ready. I'm editing some final parts and might actually add a bit more to it too (just a tiny bit, another little kiss at the end). ^_^
Oh, yay, I'm so excited to hear about it! I can't wait to read it. ^_^
I just finished the fourth chapter and woah… this is awesome?? It’s very well written and the level of choices and customization is so much more than I’ve seen in games in a similar format. You should be really proud of yourself, Lunan, and make sure to rest when you need it!! :)
Thank you, my friend! I am pleased with it. Comments like this help with my confidence that this is something people truly enjoy. ^_^
Literally so good, I finished it in one session lol.
I hope you had a really solid sleep after that, my dear! Or some eye drops at least, lol. ^_^
Lunan poly route please I'm beggin you
Sorry, my dear, for this story it likely won't happen. But I am considering it for future ones! I just want to write that sort of love story with as much authenticity as I can. ^_^
i understand, dw. glad you're considering it for other projects though, i'd love to see it. <3
❤️❤️
I love Oswin
I would say he loves you back, but Oswin would get all huffy and embarrassed and it would be a whole thing, lol. Just hang on a bit and he'll tell you himself. ;)
Thanks for your work and I enjoyed my time. Read through it in a couple of evenings as when I get into books/stories I tend to power through them.
*Warning* Very light spoilers ahead but I’ll try to keep it vague.
I was already quite interested in the setting and story from the start but I found I became more invested after chapter 3 when things open up more and it feels you have more choices to make and influence on how it all unfolds.
You really do a good job with making some of the even more mundane choices feel surprisingly meaningful among IFs that I’ve read. Even things like hair/eye colour had a couple interesting bits in the story attached to them beyond just being tags for your character’s appearance. I was also impressed with things like your choice of career pursuit and hobby having interactions.
For feedback, not too much to complain about. There were some spelling and grammar mistakes but it wasn’t too frequent and this is still a work in progress. Some more customization options would be nice I suppose? I think it is already quite good though, and I appreciate being able to customize the mc at all. I’m biased in this regard as I really enjoy character creation/customization.
I look forward to more and hope all goes well for you.
Thank you so much for the feedback, I'm glad that you found your read enjoyable. I have really loved doing this project and trying to fit in things that I would want to see while reading IFs. My goal is to make those facets of your character feel as real as possible while trying to avoid ham-fisting it. When I get a spot of time to sit down and clean up the first few chapters (definitely going to hit the grammar hard then too), I want to add a bit more customization and refine what is already there. If you have ideas for additions, I happily take suggestions. If you prefer, you can pop them into the error report form instead. It's linked in the game. ^_^
on bro let me hit that wolf
LOL! Actually, in chapter 6, there's a whole segment planned just for that.
Can't wait for the next chapter bcoz this was so fun!! I was completely invested, the plot is great and the characters are well-written. Duri really swept me off my feet as soon as he appeared lol I folded so fast 🤭
I'm so glad you had fun, my dear! Trying to get the update out the first week of December (hit some delays in November, but it's getting there)! Duri has been a persistent heart-stealer, lol. Very appropriate. ^_^
im deep into chapter four and i dont wanna finish it yet 💔but holy moly... this game is so good what the flip, Oswin has to be my favorite so far :D i also love the map of the clearing in chp3, unexpected but it was super cool!!1 Definitely have gained a new devoted follower, cant wait for this to be updated C:
Thank you, my friend! I am very glad you connected with it, and I am happy you're here. ^_^
I'm currently working on an update too. I was really trying to get it out in November, but life kinda got in the way, so I'm thinking it's going to be the first week of December instead.
omg i love the plot and the characters- damn they're so fine. Also is there a chance that there's poly routes!! I would love to see one with Duri and Oz, literally one's a wolf and u have a guy trying to convince evryone that wolves will never hurt anyone unless necessary though not necessarily Duri in particular >:D seems like there could be more going on HAHA literally thinking abt how Oz may bicker with Duri when he's in human form but softens whenever he's in wolf form bcos he can't help his fondness for his wolf form! eager for the next chapter while i go back to studying for my finals hehe :3
Hello my friend! I am glad that you are enjoying it! Unfortunately for this story, there won't be poly routes, but I can def see where a Duri-Oswin match would be a lot of fun though (super flipping cute!). In future IFs, I may do some poly romances, but for these characters for one reason or another, I didn't feel that it fit them as well. It's something I've been mulling on though, so we'll see what happens! ^_^
peak fiction fr ToT I AM SOSOSO INVESTED TO SEE HOW THIS TURNS OUT!!!!
comments on our companions/ROs
(playing with a female character for now)
oswin: he's got that dawg in him but i like his protective spirit
zahn: such a goofy goober, love him
duri: why does he remind me of gale and halsin from BG3 at the same time
i love the dads and lakota sm!!! they really make me feel like my character got the love she needs to keep going!
and i love my horsie Luchika ofc :3
keep it up!!! I really am invested to see how this goes!
if there's one thing i can recommend
listen to some music when writing <3 really helps get you into the vibe of what you write... i personally listened to the MHRise soundtrack while reading because oml it fit well with my character (fiorayne)...
but enough yapping from a monster hunter nerd... ENJOY THIS PEAK! i'm rooting for you!! and in the words of palpatine... "We will watch your career with great interest."
-love, LightningMeliodas, just a random monster hunter nerd and avid gamer.
Thank you my dear! I am so glad you are enjoying the story and characters! There will be more to love soon. I also love some tunes while I write or read, I'll check out that soundtrack too! ^_^
rip cow :(
(this is sososososso good omg)
Thank you, my friend! Sorry about the cow, lol. ^_^
I just finished through chapter 4 and I love this so muchhh. (btw maybe spoilers so CAUTION :> )
Anyways, I just want to say how much I love this story, the world building, even the characters!
I love the parents so muchhh, right when they were mentioned, I already loved them (I even maybe almost cried at a few scenes including the cow scene tbh )
I also really love all the little details and interactions with the characters and how they interacted w/ each other (platonic or not).
And I just wanted to say, the world building of this story is amazing, every little addition to the story always left me a little amazed. I really can't wait until chapter 5 comes out!
Though I do understand writing all that takes a lot time (and work!) So take your time ofc! Take breaks if you need them!
Anyways, for now, I'll probably re-play for each of the romances/companions (prob Duri first) >:D
Thank you so much for the kind words, my friend! I am so glad you are finding so much to enjoy. I can't wait to get chapter 5 out, my goal is to have it out this month (it's been a rough month though, but I am striving forward on it)! ^_^
To start it off: If you're hesitating on reading this. STOP. READ IT NOW!!! I PROMISE IT'S WORTH IT. VERY MUCH SO! PLS, READ IT AND SWOON WID ME!!!!!! QAQ
(long message ahead I apologize in advance so sorry ;_;)
The way my lips curled down in desperate sadness after seeing "Thank you for reading" 😭 I've never felt so so SO hollow before, it's just so GOOD. GREAT. AMAZING! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! So hey, dear author... what do you say about another faithful fan who pledges that this is one of her favorite IFs of all time now ;)
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my parents. Da 'n Papa! They're such lovable and caring fathers I couldn't have asked for better ones. I love them with all my heart, I can't wait to get better and to go home and hug them again!!! (that one scene with MC crying for their parents' company and wanting to go home while in pain broke me btw)
ANYWAY. I romanced Oswin the entirety of the game (tho I did stray away a couple times to check what would happen with the other ROs... cough) but I always went back to choose my beloved Oswin in the end! All the events with him, his moments, I treasure them all with my whole heart! I have so much more to say about him, but I'll bleed my heart out once the game iz finished. (pls expect like 100k words) (the key scene made me bawl btw)
Ok so to summarize how I feel about the others:
Lakota: BEST.FRIEND.EVER.
Mule (I named her... uh, better not say): I've only had her for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Zahn: The sweetest, they deserve more LOVE. So caring and kind, like cotton-candy. Adorable af. 2nd fav after Oswin<3
Duri: Fluffy. Sexy. Hot. Did I mention FLUFFY yet?
She-wolf: I've only had her for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Nathan: HOT. Love the pet-names btw. (WHY IS HE NOT AN RO????!!!!)
that's that, I can't wait to meet the others! so so so excited!!!
Everyone is EXTREMELY loveable. I can't find myself hating or disliking anyone!!! HOW, author?! You're amazing! Truly, thank you for this. Genuinely made my day. (The Election Ruined It But You Made Me Feel Better) Please always take breaks, stay hydrated! I love you so much (as a fan) Will be rooting for you and this masterpiece of a story<3333
Awe, my friend you are too kind! Your message made my day - big time.
I am so happy to add you to the coven of devoted fans, my dear. There is always room here. ^_^
I am thrilled that you have found so much to love about it, and I can't wait to share more with you (also, no shame in sampling the other ROs, we'll just keep that between us, lol).
I will strive to bring more memorable and lovable moments with these precious characters in the months to come. I also had a rough day and spent it in and out of despair. But GC will be a safe space for me, for you, and for everyone that comes here. Thank you for stopping by and for the sweet message, it was a truly bright light for me today. ^_^
I love this game so much. It feels really unsettling sometimes(cow doesnt go moo anymore), but it adds onto the story and i really liked it :D
I'm glad you love it, my friend!
If it helps, the cow thing might be the most traumatizing bit that I have planned...maybe, lol.
We haven't gotten to the nightmares yet though...I'm not too far in, but I've made decent progress, and I have a few complaints. Know that this is meant to be helpful, and that this is literally all the fault I can find in this game. It's a very fun game so far.
- Dear god, there are so many grammatical errors. This entire thing is gonna need to be proofread to clear them all out. Most of them are harmless, mostly only annoying to grammar nuts like me, but some do obfuscate you intentions a little.
- Menu navigation is a touch borked. Sometimes back to game doesn't work (though you do seem aware of it, thank you for offering solutions to that one) and if I ever save, the save menu WILL NOT reopen unless I open and close settings.
- I am very early on, so I may not have the best perspective of it, but I have to say that the game does seem a bit designed with female characters in mind. It's not too bad, but it is noticeable, particularly in the customization at the start of the game.
And that's it. Man, if that's all the flaw I can find (and I started looking), you're doing pretty good. Just some gentle editing and a bit of wrangling of the spaghetti code, and you've got a quality work right here. I'd pay around $15 for this with those changes. With these current issues, though, it ends up feeling a little unprofessional, which makes it a much harder sell. Seeming even a little unprofessional does pretty big harm to your salability. But again, this is far less work than many games need, and it's one fun game. I hope this little criticism helps, and I hope to see this baby on Steam one day.
I will say the last few parts of your criticisms seem highly unnecessary - because the IF is currently free (and free games or books etc. will be quite unprofessional) also most IF authors I've seen who charge anything have a patreon (that the author doesn't have) which you opt into for bonus content
The most I've seen an IF go for is 12$ (I think authors deserve more but that's besides the point) and that's on the high end
Which is all to say whatever prices the author 'would' charge you'd get about what you'd pay for but the author isn't charging anything so it's not worth speculating on
I think speculating on what it "would" go for IS important - this says demo, after all, which implies a full, paid version. And I was only attempting to state what I would pay with that comment, not what it would be worth. Also, does IF stand for interactive fiction? I've never seen that acronym before.
Yes! If you search IF games anything interactive fiction will show up
Also I would sorta be repeating myself but since Lunan said they've recently thought about selling the full game and writing with that goal in mind I'll leave that discussion and thought process for them (lord knows I'm never gonna make an IF myself lol)
I'm with you on that. I like to give my input about what's "wrong", because everything else is so right, but I'm just some guy. And who am I to proclaim something objectively anything? I just believe player feedback is important. But at the end of the day, everything is up to Lunan. As long as this story concludes satisfactorily, I won't complain.
Thank you, my dear, I do appreciate constructive notes, especially since I do this project alone! ^_^
I know there is going to be issues since I have no real editor or play-tester and am learning as I go. I had 2 people very briefly proof the beginning, but other than that, it's just been me. I have never coded anything in my life before this either. So, this spaghetti is going to be unhinged, my friend, lol.
Going to note too, that when I began this project - it was not for salability. It was just for the passion of it (the thought of putting it on Steam was like a far-off and untouchable dream). While I wanted it as professional as I could manage, that wasn't the end-goal, so those things were not a focus. It wasn't until sort of recently, with readers encouraging me, that I began really thinking about polishing and selling it one day. It would be a dream come true, to be sure.
Since I am now looking at possibly selling it one day, it will get extensive copyediting and refining. I just want the full story out for right now.
The menu navigation will get an overhaul when I can focus on it. I have a lot of things I want to implement on the stats along with a journal page to track the story. What's there now just won't suffice for all I have planned. I think some of the issues rest in template I've used, but with some research I can fix them.
I've had the "female-leaning" reference made once before, and I'll say what I said then - I truly believe that depends on your perception of what is inherently male, female or anything in-between. I do realize most of my audience is female-leaning, but I have more often received comments that my writing wasn't as gendered as most out there. I do not believe in gender roles or that things should be gendered - period. The lens I see through is a-gendered as it is, so I just don't see it, personally.
Hey, don't worry too much. I also said all this as something of a utilitarian - most people looking at indie stuff don't care too much about professionalism, and I'm a grammar nut, so most people playing won't notice most of those little errors. As for the female-leaning thing, it's only really even noticeable in character creation, and even then, not all that visible unless you're looking. And the menu navigation was already something you were clearly aware of, so I'm not fussed about it.
Hmm...that was quite unexpected. You really should mention either in the description or in the trigger warning section that we have two gay fathers....I think that's...a bit important no? Sorry but I can't read your story because of that. But I wish you good luck with your work.
Two gay dads do not require a trigger warning, but your comment sure does for homophobia. Don't be sorry, if that is where your line is, I'd rather you not read my work anyway, and I certainly do not need your well-wishes either.
FACTS!!!
That's fine, but you still need to give some warning about it because your work could be seen by other people who aren't looking for that kind of content. They're not gender-selectable like everyone else, you feel me?
No, I do not.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/trigger%20warning
Gay parents are not disturbing or upsetting content.
Well, you don't have to put it in the trigger warning specifically. What I'm saying is that you need to make it more obvious in the description who finds and adopts the main character. Because I read it and didn't catch that. Maybe adding Gay tag will also help.
You are not understanding, and I fully realize that you will likely not in a conversation with me. Should readers be "notified" about heterosexual parents too? I suspect your answer is 'no.' That is my issue with what you are suggesting. I will not treat parents with non-hetero orientations any differently in fiction or in real life. End of story.
You need a trigger warning... for what now? I'm pretty sure this game is literally in the LGBT category in the tags. I don't think I've ever read a book that had a big red sign that said "gays portrayed!! read with caution" goodluck in your pursuit of divine heterosexual literature.
The LGBT category doesn't say much. I've played a huge number of games from this category and I'm quite happy with everything. Because either I choose the gender of the characters or I can ignore romantic interests that don't suit my tastes. Here it's absolutely inevitable, so it's worth putting some kind of warning about it. Maybe adding a Gay tag would be nice.
We've established that isn't going to happen because it's ridiculous and the author doesn't want to and it's their work so this is a redundant argument. You made your suggestion and We've established this game is not for you. Good luck in your pursuit once again. I love the gay dad's. I hope they stay forever and always Amen.
Why do you feel so attacked that they put two homosexual parents when it really doesn't effect anyone nor anything. It's painful to see you whine over a game that you don't have to play or even think about. It just really aggrivates me, that small-minded people exist and are more prominent on the internet as ever, as someone who has been discriminated for the person who I am sexually I am intrested in. LGBTQ tags were put in for people who don't like those kinds of things; LGBTQ tags shouldn't be used for what you are describing.
What i legit fail to understand myself is what exactly is the trigger warning here supposed to be for? Because they are gay? Andddd??? It's not like they are out here having sex in every scene or walking around with their asses out. And even if they were this is an 18+ rated game 🙄 but they aren't they are raising an orphan wtf is so triggering about that?
Stupid shit like this makes my brain hurt. Christ alive. Oh no look it's two people who love each other. The horror...
weirdo
Must be Mormon lol
My Mormon nan would go to fisticuffs (probably lose) for her gay son. Not all Mormons suck :>
glad to hear some are awesome 🤩
I've never made reviews or rated stories but this was amazing! it took my attention and the characters are to die for! I'm totally obsessed wit oswin. i love how brutal it is but also charming, and i cant get over papa and da :0. i cant wait to see wat happens next :)
I am thankful that you have stopped by, my dear, and that you are enjoying my story and characters. Brutal and charming is the best compliment to me, lol. I am really shooting for this very month for the next chapter as well, so I hope it won't too long for you to wait! ^_^
This IF is everything I've ever wanted and more I'm so in love with it! You are incredible author and idk I just don't have enough words to say how much I like this story
Sidenote Duri has my mc's heart completely
Oh I'm so glad you are enjoying it! I hope to bring you more to love this month as well. Duri has proven to be quite the heart-stealer too! ^_^
A friend introduced me to your lovely IF a few days ago and I have already played through the available chapters several times, playing with different options and such. I absolutely love it and am excited to see where the story goes from here! All the characters are so much fun to get to know and I absolutely love the world you have created. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!
Thank you so much for the very kind words. It brings me much joy that you are enjoying reading and rereading. I can't wait to bring you more to love. ^_^
We need chapter five please 🥺
It's in the oven, my friend! I hope to have a tasty chapter ready in November. ^_^
It's great, I love Zahn and Duri so much :D
Thank you! They are quite loveable (the trouble is that they kinda know it too), lol.
is it selfish wanting to read the next chapter right now?
Not at all, I totally get that feeling! I'm aiming for November for the next chapter though! If it is done sooner, I will release it sooner. ^_^
thank you so much
Just found and binged this, bookmarked and all. I will be checking back often. What a wonderful job with this so far, truly.
That's awesome! I'm glad you're here, my new friend, and I am so glad you enjoyed it so much! ^_^
(Aiming for an update in November, btw!)
Can't wait!
sigghh i miss Nathan already
You know, me too >_< lol
We should do something about that :D
Second to that! I love the ROs (even though we haven't meet them all, yet), but Nathan is a different story entirely.
And his cat! Got to pet the cat~
Shadow deserves all the love! (Nathan should get some too though, lol) ^_^
Okay, I've only just found this and am more hooked than any other IF i've come across and I have to pause to comment this. (potential spoilers if you haven't played)
I named my character Ravi on name day for the sentiment from parents AND Oswin. And there's a CALL out TO THAT? I absolutely lost my mind. I already knew this was easily already in my top 3, and it just became my top for that absolutely insanely intricate detail. Thank you so much for this insane work of art.
Oh, my friend I am so glad you found that and appreciated it! I love little things like that in IFs, so I'm trying to remember to add them. I have a few things that I plan to go back and code more callbacks to as well. Sometimes when I get into the writing, those details slip from my mind. Thank you so much for your kind words, I hope GC continues to bring you joy as the journey pushes on. ^_^
I can't count how many times I've been happily surprised by some choices given like the characters to invite to what you're doing and such
This really earned it's place in my bookmarks!
You, author and everyone else that had worked on this have really earned my respect :D
I'm so glad you like that, my dear. I want to keep options like that where I can since there's a lot of other things that the MC isn't given much of a choice in. Thank you for the kind words! I am happy to be in your bookmarks (very cozy, 5 stars, highly recommend). ^_^
I'm waiting for the next update:33333 so goooooood. My dear Oswin is so gentle and protective
It's well under way, my dear! I can't say for sure, but I anticipate updating before the end of the year. I'll have a better idea of when after next week. My hope is for November at the latest. (There's going to be some very choice Oswin moments too.) ^_^
duri'naan my beloved...... i definitely know who i want to romance
Oh, they'll be very happy about that, my dear. 🐺
Can't. Stop.Replaying.
*obsessively checks for new chapter for the last 65 days*
Im not obsessed.
Definitely not obsessed.
...ok i might be obsessed
LOL, I can totally tell. I am hot on the heels of chapter 5 already (26k words). If you have Tumblr, I've posted a couple ask responses with little mini-drabbles or POVs if that will help scratch the itch a little! ^_^
Eeee yay!
Do u have a patreon?
Not yet, but I'm making plans currently! Probably going to start out with just a couple tiers to keep it simple - early releases, side stories, POVS, and of course some spicy things. ^_^
I'd for sure subscribe 😃